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7/10/2013

BUCKLEBURY VILLAGE TO HOLBY CITY - JOE MILLSON

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VINEGAR JOE - AMATEUR SKATEBOARDER AND PROFESSIONAL ACTOR

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As CARTER IN CASINO ROYALE

Joseph Robert Millson aka Vinegar Joe. What a bloody good bloke. Growing up, we all used to skate Joe's ramp in Bucklebury, in fact he had two ramps - one in an ancient barn and another bigger ramp in his parent's front garden that was propped up by a car. Such amazing times. Joe was good too, really good (he still is). In these early days, Joe's ramp was home to visiting pros and local kids every weekend. Ever hospitable and hilarious, Joe was the perfect host. Much like Jason Lee, he took his charismatic charms and ravishing good looks to the big screen, small screen and even the stage - yeah the mother fucker has done mad Shakespeare and shit. Oh and rumour has it that he fucked Kate Middleton before Will.I.Am put a ring on it. I think that makes him royalty. 

You're a shoe-in for a big part when they inevitably remake Police Academy 4, but would your hunky suave looks get you the role of Mahoney or would you be better suited to play 'street punk 2' because of your skating skills? Also, would it be a deal-breaker for you that Alex Dyer played Bobcat?. Can you film yourself saying "this is carrying skateboards, THIS is skateboarding" and upload it to youtube please.
I'd play Mahoney with a ropey Accent and ALSO skate punk 2 with gusto. Alex IS bobcat or I walk.

You smashed it in Heartbeat. If the other characters skated who would have the most decked out frontside rocks, Compo or Cleggy?
Cleggy is the don.
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WITH mackenzie crook aka GARETH KEENAN

Which Middleton sister was most likely to stand on the extension of your ramp facing away from the tranny while you did repeated ‘keep on trucking’ rock fakies in the nude so that your unit poked her in the bum each time?
Pippa, would stand for hours on that platform wearing her 'special' pair of undies that pinch her in a pleasant way.
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PIVOT FAKIE IN A 400 year old barn

You're really handsome still. Not a question, more of a statement.
Cheers. Gay.
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AS LUC HEMINGWAY IN HOLBY CITY

Shagging actresses can be mad controversial, do you ever wish you'd gone for skater girls instead? I'm pretty sure Sue Hazel is still available? or Diane from Primo and Diane?
Shagging actresses has been tough. My new fiancé is the ultimate combo, yes an actress with fragranced perfect genetalia and twinkley rude eye filth, clever talk stuff, but also is tattooed, wears vans and has lived many many years of her life on or near Venice beach and used to skate a longboard as transportation. Totally supports my love of my wooden toy. Having said that Sue hazel gave better head than Goffy and he had removable teeth.
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SMITH GRIND ON JOE'S INFAMOUS VERT RAMP 1989

Do your agents get funny about you skating bowls etc when you're under contract for a fillm/show?
They don't know. And I blame any bumps and breaks as 'trips and falls'
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When was the last time you visited Buckleberry?
April with my intended young Sarah-Jane Potts. Paid homage to the grove.
What's the most ridiculous hollywood story you have?
My most ridiculous Hollywood story is totally fucking libellous. A-listers, drugs , sex the lot. So not for an interview but a pint down the line.
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WITH JAMES MCAVOY IN MACBETH

How are the knees holding up?
Surprisingly well, I officially have full blown bursitis in each knee but so long as I knee pad up (even under costume in plays for kneeling down) I'm good.
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BEANPLANT IN 1989

Are your biggest fans mums or do you get young ladies who fancy you too?
Mums. Except briefly 'Campus' got me some mad hot pussy.
That cover of the Radio Times you had - you were very 'dishy' as my mum puts it.
Tell your mum we is on!
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WITH BLOODY helena bonham carter

Do you have any recent photos or footage for us?
Hardly been skating lately. Go trawl my 'fansite' for acting wank pics.
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What new films are in the pipeline?
THE DEAD 2 India premieres at Fright fest on August 22nd, then release Christmas/new year. 
Scheduled to 'star' in two more films shooting near end of year, low budget but good. REPERCUSSION and BLOOD MOON.
You used to do sick tricks all the time but sometimes pretend to be trying something for the first time when you actually had them on lock. Do you do the same thing with acting? Like "I just had an idea for a new soliquoy..."To be or not to be"
You bastard! That might be true about some frontside Ollie into Nollie blunts that I briefly had. No fuck it you're right I used to try to hussle all you street skating big cocks.

I bloody love you .

Laters. Xxxx

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Joe and Lance
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Frontside rock on his outdoor ramp
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Berkshire reunion
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Back when his knees used to tuck
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posh spaz
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Blurry nose blunt before you even knew what they were
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A sausage dog

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    Quackquackoops aka Pewton Smedley from mystical Wilstshire.

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