FIVE FUCKING FINGERS - 01

Seriously, fuck this shit.

I am not sure about you, but without realising it at the time, I got into skating as a way to get to away from standard fuckwits. An escape, for lack of a better word. All the kids at my school played football, smoked cigarettes, tried to fuck girls and wore the same clothes. Skating for me was a breath of fresh air, something different. Fuck man, when I started there were only 5 skaters in my whole town. We used to approach anyone that so much as had a punk T-shirt on, on the off chance that he might skate or even ride a BMX, anything would work for us. Anyway, “what is this old man reminiscing about all this crap for and why do I care?” I hear you ask, well let me tell you why - Street League, fucking Street League.  Five Fucking Fings that make Street League the worst fucking thing to happen to skateboarding since something else shit happened. 1/ Companies your mum hates, parents hating skateboarding, grinding people’s property, doing tricks because it feels good, hanging with friends, chilling in the city, forgetting about your troubles for a while - this shit is what makes skating dope.  Monster Energy, parents with foam fingers in the audience, grinding bright green ledges in an auditorium, doing tricks for money, hanging with thousands of women and children, chilling on live tv, stressing about your ‘score’ - this is the shit that makes skating shit 2/ Ok, if you do have to have a huge contest, at least get commentators that know what’s up. FLAWLESS is a word that actually has meaning in the English language, I haven’t heard it much before in skateboarding but that is fine, what I do object to however is it being used on a trick where a huge long gorilla (this has nothing to do with his skin colour by the way, you racist fucks) arm using the handrail in the way they were originally intended whilst doing an admittedly incredible bigflip to frontside boardslide, but come on arms should in no way be involved in that trick, and if they are - ‘flawless’ should not be used to describe it to all the jocks watching.